10 things you’ll only understand if you’ve lived on Guam

Beautiful head of a rooster in the garden. (Photo by 123RF)

There’s Guam...and there’s living on Guam. The longer you’re here, the more things start to make sense — even if it doesn’t to anyone who’s never lived here. If you know, you know.

1. Roosters = your alarm clock

Forget your phone. The real MVP of morning wake up calls is that one bold neighborhood rooster that doesn’t care it’s 3 a.m.

2. Saying you’ll be there at 5, showing up at 5:45

Island time is a real thing and no one is mad about it. Just blame it on traffic along Marine Corp Drive, because there’s probably someone digging up the road somewhere (you know what we mean).

3. Coolers are for more than just drinks

The coolers are the Swiss Army knife of island living. Need a seat? Footrest? A workout bench in your garage gym? Done. It even moonlights as an atulai holder when you go spearfishing. Unsung hero of every gathering, mission, and backyard setup.

4. Spotting a boonie dog is a daily occurrence

The boonie dog is the unofficial neighbourhood watch minus the WhatsApp group. Chill one minute, territorial the next. If you’ve ever gone for a walk in the neighborhood, you know you’ve carried a stick “just in case.”

5. You’ve watched a concert at Ypao...from the sidewalk

All you need is a folding chair, some snacks, and boom — instant concert party without the entry fee. Sure, the stage is kinda far, but you can see the lights, hear the music and the banter and you’re first out when it’s over.

6. The price of avocados still hurts your soul

You will pay for the avocado, and you will still make guac. You’ve accepted it. Local avocado season though, is a blessing from the fruit gods. You will absolutely brag if you score them for free (“Nah, I got mine from Uncle Mark’s tree.”)

7. The power flickers for no reason

No storm, no wind, no explanation — just a casual power blink or brownout that resets your microwave clock, drops your Wi-Fi and slow roasts your appliances. Ouch. You don’t even flinch anymore. It’s part of the ambiance.

8. You’ve heard (or said) “on the light” and knew what it meant

“Can you on the light” “Off the fan!” — and you know exactly what to do. And if you correct it, you’re clearly not from around here.

9. You’ve seen a rainbow, sunset and downpour in the same hour

Guam weather is like a mood ring with ADHD. You’d be driving on wet road then suddenly be on completely dry asphalt. The weather doesn’t play by the rules, forecasts, or feelings, so you always have your umbrella and your shades with you.

10. Grocery stores feel like Antarctica

It’s 90 degrees and 1000% humidity outside, but inside the grocery store, it’s basically the North Pole. Your glasses get foggy, your skin dries up. You’ve learned to bring a hoodie for the beer and spam runs.