(Hilary Valdez)
“You meet your destiny on the road you take to avoid it.” - Carl Jung
Do you believe in Fate? Karma? Destiny? Synchronicity? Your beliefs to a degree depend on your religious upbringing. Some people believe, some don’t. Look at your life, would you change anything? If I want to confuse myself, I start questioning myself: “What If.” “I coulda.” “I shoulda.” “If only.” “If I could turn back the clock.”
Paul Anka sings, “You Are My Destiny.” “Destiny” by Destiny’s Child sings about the belief in a predetermined path and the importance of following one’s destiny. And of course, for all the pre-baby boomers, “Que Sera, Sera” (Whatever Will Be, Will Be) by Doris Day. For me, all my decisions shaped my destiny. Destiny is determined by choices and actions we make. Learning to shoot a rifle in the Marine Corps I was taught that turning the knob, or target turret, on the side of the weapon one click, the point of impact is moved roughly a quarter inch at 100 yards. It doesn’t sound like much, but it makes a big difference. Just like your life, if you just changed one small sequence in your life, just one click, that would’ve had a big difference in who, what, and where you are today.
Synchronicity is characterized by events that seem to be linked in a way that transcends chance. Psychologist Carl Jung defined synchronicity as “meaningful coincidences” that cannot be explained by cause and effect. He believed that these events were not just random occurrences, but manifestations of a deeper order in the universe. These meaningful coincidences that occur at the same time have no apparent causal connection. It’s when two or more events seem related, but no logical causal link can be found, yet the experience feels significant to the person involved. Essentially, it’s a meaningful coincidence that feels more than just random chance.
Fate is predetermined by an outside force, out of your control. There is no protection from fate. Fate is a timeless idea, present in nearly every culture and philosophy. It suggests that there is a force unseen and mysterious, that guides the course of our lives. Some call it destiny, others see it as God’s will, karma, or simply the order of the universe. Do things happen for a reason? Are we following a path already laid out for us? Or are we free to choose our direction? Do you believe there are no accidents in life, and everything happens for a reason? It may be difficult to see clearly what the moment means, only until later do you realize the consequences of that moment.
Some events in my life angered me. When I was broke, and in college, my father refused to help me. Later, I viewed his decision as tough love meant to strengthen me and pull from me, basic survival instincts. He survived the depression and World War II. He was right, I was wrong. I was bull-headed. Slowly I learned that karma is an ancient Indian religions concept. The Law of Karma refers to cause and effect, often called the principle of karma, where a person’s intent and actions or cause influence their future, or effect.
In university, I enrolled in a class on world-wide religions. I needed information to counter all the programmed guilt instilled in me by Catholicism. Spiritual traditions often speak of fate as part of a divine or universal plan. In Christianity, there is the belief in providence or God’s loving guidance over all things. In Buddhism and Hinduism, karma reflects how past actions influence future outcomes. In each case, there is a sense that life is not random, but meaningful, even when we don’t fully understand it. This view encourages humility and compassion: we never fully know what someone else is going through, or what lessons life is teaching them. Riding the train observing people, I wonder what their lives are like. What’s it like to be them? Do they enjoy their lives and careers? And why do people go to fortune tellers, spiritualist, and palm readers? Ever attend a funeral in New Orleans, Louisiana? Ever attend a Pentecostal service where people are speaking in tongues to communicate with the Holy Spirits? What is the real meaning of being born again?
When I was with the Justice Department I was forced to attend a funeral of a popular motorcycle gang member. It was chilling, sad, and moving, especially when gang members lowered his motorcycle into the grave. My team was held responsible for three deaths, when a gun fight erupted. People were furious with me. I wanted to hide. Many people feel that certain events—especially life-changing ones, are “meant to be.” This event went to the core of my soul. After three more violent events, my attitude, emotions, and psychological outlook was “born again.” Time to leave. In this moment of decision, my destiny was shaped.
When two people meet and feel an instant connection, they often call it fate. When someone avoids a tragedy by a small margin, it’s common to say, “It wasn’t their time.” These are moments when we sense something bigger than a coincidence is occurring. For me, these violent events were a karmic sign to change my life path.
“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”– Friedrich Nietzsche
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Hilary Valdez is a freelancer living in Tokyo, Japan. He is an experienced Mental Health professional and Resiliency Trainer. Valdez is a former Marine and has worked with the military most of his career and most recently worked at Camp Zama as a Master Resiliency Trainer. Valdez now has a private practice and publishes books on social and psychological issues. His books are available on Amazon and for Kindle. Learn more about Valdez and contact him at his website or email. Follow his YouTube channel Hilary’s Quick Talk for more insights.
